I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
