I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
