it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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