Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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