I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
