her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
