3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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