I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
