laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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