I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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