just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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