meet me or not, i'm out of control
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
