I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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