You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize