Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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