You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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