youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
