Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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