It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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