Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
