am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
