It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize