so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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