i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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