he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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