Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
