Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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