the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm going to jail i love you
Porn is love you can see.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
