My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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