Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
