One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
