This dress was meant to end up on your floor
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
