We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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