There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I touched a dick in church today
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
