I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
