No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
