So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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