Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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