So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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