when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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