32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
