Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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