i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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