dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
