I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
