Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
