I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize