I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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