So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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