Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
