if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
