some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
