we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
