mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
