On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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