he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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