I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
