the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
