the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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