escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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