I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize