A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
