you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
