quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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