i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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