So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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