making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
