Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
