This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
