she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
