So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My balls are so social today.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
either way he was missing a nipple.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
