We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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