My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You need a sexual gate keeper
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
