i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
