i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
