paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
