omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize