Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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