Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
