5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
